New Beginning

So, the last time we talked, I announced that I was pregnant. I’ve read one too many weight loss blog that turned into a pregnancy blog that immediately lost me as a reader to know that I didn’t want to go that route with my blog.

That being said, I’m a mom!

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With my second re-birthday on the horizon, I’m feeling a little sentimental, so let’s catch up! The day I found out I was pregnant, I weighed 219.0 pounds. The day I delivered, I tipped the scales at about 282 (I think). I gave birth to a beautiful little 7 pound 2 ounce baby in mid-May and officially weighed 240.0 pounds as soon as the fluid melted away (within about two weeks). Since then, however, I have battled the following things:

  • Breastfeeding hunger
  • My baby’s milk protein allergy (meaning I went dairy free)
  • A lingering sweet tooth from quitting smoking
  • The inability to bring myself to routinely prepare healthful and appealing meals while caring for a needy newborn

As a result, I somehow weighed 257 lbs at my doctor’s appointment on Monday of this week.

In spite of all of this, I need to pause to remind myself that I used to weigh 353.4 pounds and even though I’ve gained weight, I’m still nowhere near 353.4 pounds. So, how do I get back on track? Honestly, I’ve become complacent and fallen into the not tracking and not caring trap once again, though for most of my pregnancy, I did track my food. Lately, I’ve been so consumed by the baby that the “nice” thing I do for myself is eat horrible food that tastes amazing but is leaving this totally saggy gut in its wake.

Since having the baby, I initially started by making one goal each day to get back into the swing of things. My house is now back in order, the baby has a routine, so now I need to take those few poorly executed attempts at meal planning that just haven’t panned out and actually get back in the saddle.

How did I do this before? How did I lose 133 pounds in one year? I started with simple guidelines. I reread my first month’s recap where I discussed the keys to my success that first month. I’ve had so many false starts with tracking my food over the past few months, and now with the baby, the last thing I want to do is to have to remember one more thing like tracking every little thing I eat. The answer? My very own advice:

  1. Simply filling.
  2. No soda or booze for the first month.
  3. If I’m hungry, I’m going to eat.
  4. No obsessing.

The other way I set myself up for success? I religiously wrote in this blog and posted my weekly weigh-ins, milestones, measurements, everything.

I’m going to take tonight and tomorrow to prep my grocery list and pantry for the week ahead. Friday will be my first official postpartum weigh-in!

How are the rest of you doing?

Catching Up

So, I’ve been absent for about ever. I mentioned previously that I had been promoted, so I’ve been in my new role for a month now. It has been a big adjustment! Pretty stressful and time-consuming as well.

  • Starting Weight: 353.4 lbs
  • Last Post (Week 34): 253.4 lbs
  • Week 35: 248.8 lbs
  • Week 36: 249.0 lbs
  • Week 37: 246.2 lbs
  • Week 38: 246.2 lbs
  • Week 39: 246.2 lbs
  • Week 40: 245.2 lbs
  • Change since last post: -8.2 lbs
  • Change overall: -108.2 lbs

I met my goal of getting under 250 AND my 30% (247.4) goal! Great scale victories. Next up on the goal-front: getting under 230, which coincides with my 35% goal of 229.7 pounds. 230 is a HUGE deal for me, as it is my lowest adult weight. It’s about what I weighed when I graduated from high school. If you remember my story, I was able to get down to 230 a few years ago before gaining back the 95 pounds I’d managed to lose. There’s a definite mental block in place here. I honestly can’t imagine being under 230, even though I’m just over 15 pounds away. And getting under 200 pounds? I still can’t even begin to fathom it. I will get there, but I still have a whole lot of work to do on my mindset.

I think it’s pretty evident that the stress and changes from my new position are affecting me, weight-wise. I have been eating more carbs, not drinking enough water, and using most, if not all, of my weekly PointsPlus allowance. The stall in my weight loss is definitely not due to a natural plateau! More often than not, I’ve found myself wanting to stray from the plan, but I haven’t given in. I’ve had more beer and pizza in the past month than in the past 10 months combined, but I counted every last bit, even when I didn’t want to. And I weighed in, even when I didn’t want to. I haven’t gained, which is great, but the change in attitude is concerning. I have been preoccupied with work and really wanted to fall back into my old habits. Anyway, thanks to Rachael, I’ve decided to make some changes.

  • I changed back to Simply Filling this week to help kick the habit of excessive carbs, granola bars, and pizza. I haven’t decided how long I will stick with it, but the change is refreshing!
  • I switched my weigh-in days from Monday to Friday (my first Friday weigh-in was 5/1/15 (Week 39). I initially chose Mondays to keep myself on track over the weekends. It was good in the beginning, but I’m at the point now that I want to be able to have a beer or two on the weekend and not worry about the water retention ruining my Monday weigh-in. I think this will be a good change!

The thing is, even though I’ve only lost 3.6 pounds in the past 5 weeks, the tape measure still showed major progress! I move around a lot more in my new job, which is awesome. Plus, I think the stall in my weight loss is a good thing – it’s giving my skin a chance to catch up and possibly tighten up. Since March’s measurements, the following changes took place:

  • Bust: no change (41.25″)
  • Waist: -1.75″ (37.5″)
  • Hips: no change (55.0″)
  • R arm: -0.75″ (16.25″)
  • R thigh: -1.25″ (28.75″)
  • R calf: -1.0″ (18.5″)

Do you see that?! My calves have been the same size since at least September 2014 (when I still weighed well over 300 pounds). Boom! Just like that, a WHOLE INCH. Huge deal!


I also mentioned in my last post that I had to fly for work. I was really nervous about it, just because I have avoided flying since I was 18 years old and weighed about 230 pounds – it was a close fit then, so I was worried I wasn’t going to fit. It was still a close fit, and there was more of me spilling into the seat next to me than I would have liked, but I didn’t need a seatbelt extender. This was such a big deal for me! I feel like I can go anywhere or do anything now. D and I have been planning trips ever since! Next big goal? Riding rollercoasters! I won’t try that until I’m closer to 215 pounds.


What else is new? The weather has been gorgeous, and I’ve been spending a lot of time outside doing yardwork and the like. I’m thinking about buying a new bike, and trying to plan for a good weekend to go kayaking with my awesomely handsome husband. Speaking of my husband, he’s lost even more weight too! He’s now tipping the scales at about 165 pounds. Since he’s over 6′ tall, he’s within his healthy weight range. He looks great, and he’s more active than ever!

We also remodeled our pantry. It’s still a work in progress, but I’m really proud of it! We worked together on a concept, and D built the whole thing himself. I was in charge of decorating and organizing… and a little painting.


And finally, I kept up with my tradition of taking bimonthly progress pictures (also updated on my Progress Pictures page). I can’t believe the changes I’m seeing in myself! In spite of being stressed out and exhausted lately, I feel amazing. I can’t imagine how I would have coped with this change a year ago.

I was going to wear the same pink tank in April that I wore for February’s photos. I put it on, and it was WAY too big! Also, I showed a comparison photo to one of my friends recently. She said, “I love that you’re still bootylicious after a 100-lb weight loss!” Excuse me, 108.2-pound weight loss!

And of course – I received my Blogger Care Package from Harley! She was so creative, and I loved everything. I can’t even pick a favorite at this point, though I have been carting that adorable cup around with me everywhere! D has also been enjoying the Crystal Light packets 🙂 I hope everyone else has had as much fun with the package swap as I have! Did everyone get to send out their packages? Tell me about your experience! I need to get back in the loop, stat!

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And because I love comparison pictures…

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Week 17 Weigh-In

This is my week 17 weigh-in or the week in which I showed Thanksgiving who was boss.

  • Starting Weight: 353.4 lbs
  • Last Week: 291.8 lbs
  • Current Week: 289.2 lbs
  • This week’s change: -2.6 lbs
  • Change overall: -64.2 lbs
  • Month 4 change: -15.2 lbs

15.2 pounds in one month! That’s twice what I lost in October. I am very pleased.

I followed Rachael’s tip: 1 plate of food, whatever I wanted, so long as it wasn’t piled high and my food didn’t touch.

Turkey, sweet potato, mushroom stuffing, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, and a little gravy

Turkey, sweet potato, mushroom stuffing, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, and a little gravy

I had also prepared Weight Watchers Pumpkin Spice Cheesecake Bars for the occasion. I subbed in nonfat Greek yogurt for the sour cream, and they came out to 4PP per bar. Totally delicious and worth it! They were a hit; no one had a clue they were eating “diet food.”

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So, Thanksgiving dinner was a success. I valued it at about 25 PointsPlus, which was well within my dailies. Afterwards, my brother-in-law came over, and much drinking ensued. I had two Captain and Pepsi Max drinks (I’ll admit I pour them strong). I had told myself and my husband that I would only have one drink, so that was a bit of a fail. In turn, those drinks led to a little binge. I had half a piece of the cheesecake above, half a piece of pumpkin pie, and 3 cinnamon graham crackers with peanut butter.

The binge was better than it would have been in the past, but it was still a binge. It was still that feeling of being out-of-control. I have felt it nipping at my heels ever since, that urge to just let go and do it again. I’ve fought it, but it’s scary how easily that comes back. Lesson learned: Captain Morgan is my gateway drug. As such, I am whole-heartedly joining helloallyson in #nodrinkdecember.

In other news, the Skinny Snowman Challenge started yesterday. So far, it’s been a very positive experience, and I’m excited to try something new to help get through the holidays!

I plan to do my measurements tonight, so we will see if the tape tells a different story from the scale!

How was your Thanksgiving?

Week 11 Weigh-In

So, I had a good week weight-loss-wise, but a not-so-good week in terms of choices. I’ll get to that after the numbers.

  • Starting Weight: 353.4 lbs
  • Last Week: 306.0 lbs
  • Current Week: 303.0 lbs
  • This week’s change: -3.0 lbs
  • Change overall: -50.4 lbs

I hit 50 pounds! But I didn’t deserve it.  Continue reading

Rough Week

It’s just been a rough week. One of those weeks where it seems like everything that can go wrong, will. I’m just feeling extra sensitive (thanks, PMS), and it’s only adding to the absolute cloud of crap hovering over me. Tonight, after some more distressing news, I was so close to just ordering a pizza instead of cooking dinner. I had the phone in my hand and my credit card ready to go, but I held it together and made Skinnytaste’s Roasted Potatoes, Chicken Sausage and Peppers, though I used some pork sausage that I had on hand instead. It was seriously delicious and way better than that pizza would have been.

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I’m proud that I haven’t given in to my cravings and emotional eating, but I am stressed and honestly am at a loss as to how to cope with it outside of eating or drinking away my feelings. I had thought about doing yoga to relieve the stress, but I just… didn’t have it in me.

Giving up on this journey isn’t hurting anyone but me, and it’s not an option. One day of emotional eating isn’t going to undo the scale victories, but it will play a big part in undoing the mental strides I have made.

Any tips?

Implementing Activity

Let’s be honest: I am still struggling with implementing activity into my daily life. While I have met my daily FitBit Flex step goals most days, I am still not so good about getting in actual workouts. So far this week, I worked out on Monday… that was it (and I was good and sore for 2 or 3 days!), unless you count an especially energetic bout of … umm, intimate times with the husband the other day.

I keep thinking about this. What can I do that I enjoy? I do honestly enjoy the Power 90 Sculpt circuit, and I used to LOVE yoga. These days, though, yoga is more uncomfortable than it is enjoyable, and I constantly find myself comparing my movements to how I USED to be able to do them. I know that I can’t expect to be super awesomely bendy right from the get-go, but it’s frustrating, and I don’t enjoy it right now. On Tuesday, I made it through an entire 5 minutes of the Power 90 yoga component before I just turned it off and sat on the couch.

For this reason, I keep trying to find other workouts that I will enjoy in the meantime. I know I keep talking about my knees, but my right foot has also been bothering me since mid-August when I did yoga one day, and since then, it has been bothering me in the same place that I had broken it nearly 4 years ago. I don’t know why it hurts since it’s never bothered me since it healed, and I feel like I should go to the doctor, but part of me has been putting that off because I want to have lost 50 lbs before I go back to the doctor. I know it’s silly, but I’m craving praise!

I know, I need to just pick something and do it. No excuses. I will feel better in the long run, and the more I strengthen muscles around problem areas like my knees, the more I will be able to do. I would like to go back to physical therapy, but I don’t think that my HSA can handle it, plus my physical therapist will totally yell at me for messing up my knees after she fixed them last year.

Does anyone out there have knee issues? What workouts have you found that were doable, yet also worked to strengthen your knees? I need help!

 

New Coping Mechanisms

Today, I had a really trying day at work and was blindsided by some pretty disappointing news. My normal reaction to sadness or anxiety or disappointment is to EAT. I’m capitalizing it because I don’t just eat, I EAT. I would buy a family-sized bag of potato chips (preferably Middleswarth Kettle Cooked Sour Cream & Onion… maybe Utz… Who am I trying to kid? I’m not picky), probably a pint of Hershey’s ice cream, and maybe even a fifth of Kraken rum. I would sit on the couch and HOUSE all of it. OK, so I wouldn’t drink all of the rum since I get pretty pukey after about 3 mixed drinks, but that’s not the point. (Lightweight.)

On my 45-mile drive home from work, visions of cheeseburgers and subs and pizzas boogied through my imagination like 20-foot-high dancing snacks at a drive-in movie theater. I craved comfort so badly that I felt a physical longing nearing panic for something (anything!) grease-laden and high in trans fats.

Not this time. No, no, no!  Continue reading