New Beginning

So, the last time we talked, I announced that I was pregnant. I’ve read one too many weight loss blog that turned into a pregnancy blog that immediately lost me as a reader to know that I didn’t want to go that route with my blog.

That being said, I’m a mom!

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With my second re-birthday on the horizon, I’m feeling a little sentimental, so let’s catch up! The day I found out I was pregnant, I weighed 219.0 pounds. The day I delivered, I tipped the scales at about 282 (I think). I gave birth to a beautiful little 7 pound 2 ounce baby in mid-May and officially weighed 240.0 pounds as soon as the fluid melted away (within about two weeks). Since then, however, I have battled the following things:

  • Breastfeeding hunger
  • My baby’s milk protein allergy (meaning I went dairy free)
  • A lingering sweet tooth from quitting smoking
  • The inability to bring myself to routinely prepare healthful and appealing meals while caring for a needy newborn

As a result, I somehow weighed 257 lbs at my doctor’s appointment on Monday of this week.

In spite of all of this, I need to pause to remind myself that I used to weigh 353.4 pounds and even though I’ve gained weight, I’m still nowhere near 353.4 pounds. So, how do I get back on track? Honestly, I’ve become complacent and fallen into the not tracking and not caring trap once again, though for most of my pregnancy, I did track my food. Lately, I’ve been so consumed by the baby that the “nice” thing I do for myself is eat horrible food that tastes amazing but is leaving this totally saggy gut in its wake.

Since having the baby, I initially started by making one goal each day to get back into the swing of things. My house is now back in order, the baby has a routine, so now I need to take those few poorly executed attempts at meal planning that just haven’t panned out and actually get back in the saddle.

How did I do this before? How did I lose 133 pounds in one year? I started with simple guidelines. I reread my first month’s recap where I discussed the keys to my success that first month. I’ve had so many false starts with tracking my food over the past few months, and now with the baby, the last thing I want to do is to have to remember one more thing like tracking every little thing I eat. The answer? My very own advice:

  1. Simply filling.
  2. No soda or booze for the first month.
  3. If I’m hungry, I’m going to eat.
  4. No obsessing.

The other way I set myself up for success? I religiously wrote in this blog and posted my weekly weigh-ins, milestones, measurements, everything.

I’m going to take tonight and tomorrow to prep my grocery list and pantry for the week ahead. Friday will be my first official postpartum weigh-in!

How are the rest of you doing?

On the Eve of Post-Christmas Weigh-In

I’ll be honest. This week didn’t go precisely as I had planned it. It didn’t go horribly awry, but it wasn’t as good as I had hoped.

There were cookies… and vodka… and chips/salsa. I tracked everything, and I didn’t even dip into my weeklies on Christmas! It’s just that the quality of food wasn’t quite where it should be, which can be expected, in light of the holiday.

As a preventative measure, I stepped on the scale Christmas morning and saw that I had lost FIVE pounds since my Monday weigh-in. While part of me wanted to make sure I maintained that loss, another part of me said that another big loss like that was too much, and I’m losing weight too fast, and I need to let go of some of that control sometimes. So, Friday night, my husband and I played cards, and I indulged in caramel flavored vodka mixed with Sprite Zero. Oh, and I added some to coffee, which was delicious, too!

To be honest, I regret it. I had a headache yesterday, and I’m still retaining a ton of water! I don’t regret the time spent with my husband, but I didn’t need to drink as much as I did… especially when I’m not accustomed to drinking anymore!

I did hop on the scale this morning to see the potential damage, but I won’t spoil the results for you. I will say that I was disappointed.

In other news, we had our last Christmas function today at D’s grandmother’s house. It was just me, D, his brother, and grandma. It was so nice to just be able to sit down at the table and really talk to Grandma without a bajillion people running around everywhere. As for the rest of Christmas, D and I made out like bandits this year! I got no less than THREE cookbooks, a fancy new can opener, and a new Crockpot (since, as you’ve all heard, I HATE mine), among other things.


Rachael over at My Journey — One Day at a Time just posted a huge NSV for her, and I’d like to piggyback off that. She wrote about really seeing herself in a full-length reflection for the first time. I don’t have a full-length mirror either, and had a similar experience today. I was kind of amazed when I saw myself in the full-length mirror at D’s grandma’s house. I probably spent about 3 minutes staring at myself, totally in awe of the changes. Since I have a pear-shaped body, I carry most of my weight in my hips and thighs, and I couldn’t believe how my butt doesn’t look like it extends halfway up my back anymore! It was an Aha! moment, that THIS is why my body doesn’t hurt so much when I move now. THIS is why I can speed-walk and keep up with my long-legged husband. THIS is why said husband can’t keep his hands off me. THIS is why my knees don’t creak so much. THIS is worth it. THIS is why I’m having a sober New Year’s Eve.

Speaking of a sober New Year’s Eve, I finally broke down and ordered Cards Against Humanity. I am pretty pumped to play! But I have also been toying with the idea of going to the bowling alley to ring in the new year. I like the idea of actually getting up and doing something active instead of sitting around and playing cards. Maybe I can do both. I don’t think the bowling alley is opening until 10 pm for NYE.

What are your plans for ringing in the New Year? Will you keep it sober?

Christmas Week and Seasonal Depression

Good morning!

My company gave us Christmas and the day after as company-paid holidays, but I figure I deserved more than those two days, so I took Monday-Wednesday as well! I didn’t have any big plans for this week. I would normally spend at least the weekend before Christmas baking several dozen cookies and making batches of fudge, but this year, I decided not to do that. Maybe I will pick it back up next year, but I didn’t feel like it was a good idea this time around. So, what am I doing with myself during this whole week off?

So far, I’ve been relaxing. I haven’t worked out in about 3 weeks. I’ve been feeling really tired a lot of the time, and I know it is due to stress and lack of working out, but do you see me getting my workouts in? My dad gave me a gift card for Amazon, so I am planning to find a new workout on there to mix things up a little. I get bored with workout routines very easily, since I am naturally lazy, so I am constantly needing to find ways to mix things up.

In addition to the relaxing, I’ve been cleaning. I didn’t get to my fall cleaning this year, so I am making up for it now! Is there anything better than a really clean house?

Annnnd I’ve been shopping. I started my Christmas shopping way back in August because (as you all know), I am a crazy, couponing cheapskate most of the time, and when I see an amazing deal, I can’t pass it up! Anyway, the shopping has kicked into overdrive over the past 2 weeks or so. Even little ol’ cheapskate me gets swept up into the holiday spirit! My company gave us $40 Visa gift cards for Christmas, so I was planning to maybe go find myself a pair of shoes today, but there has been freezing rain and ice throughout my area since yesterday evening, so I have been trying to wait it out. Ugh, winter in Pennsylvania.

I think the winter thing might also have something to do with my lack of motivation to work out lately too. I loathe winter! I don’t like that it’s dark all the time. I don’t like driving in snow and ice! There have been years in the past where I really succumbed to seasonal depression. I don’t want that to happen again this year! I know I need to stay active to keep my mind off how dark and dreary it is outside.

What are your tips for beating the winter blues? And how are you handling the holidays?

Let’s Talk About Sex

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I’ve been married for 4 years, and I’ve been with the same dude for the past 6.5 years. I’m not an old married lady, but we’re not exactly newlyweds.

With this weight loss, there have been some changes. (TMI ahead!) Continue reading

21 Day Fix

I just finished day 2, round 1 of the 21 Day Fix workout.

“Sore” is an understatement!

I find that I’m able to keep up with the workouts (following some of the modifications). Instead of feeling discouraged that I have to do modifications, I’m feeling impressed by how far I’ve come since August! I would NOT have been able to do this program 3 months ago. My body feels stronger in spite of the fact that I am currently unable to bend over to tie my shoes and have to brace myself to sit on the toilet.

It’s a good hurt.

I’m feeling optimistic about following through on this workout regime. My sister-in-law is doing it too (she’s following the full 21 Day Fix program), and having someone to talk to about the workouts as I do them is really motivating.

As for my measurements, I’ve decided to wait until 10/31 to record them… both to capture a full month and hoping for an extra few inches in 3 days!

How are your workouts going? Are you trying anything new? How do you beat those sore muscles?

Confession Time

Ok, so we went to Applebee’s with the in-laws yesterday. I started out strong and ordered my pre-planned meal, the Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad without dressing, and fat-free Italian dressing on the side. All was well until my father-in-law ordered a pitcher of light beer for us to celebrate our 4 years of wedded bliss. I had 8 ounces, and it was a delightful flavor explosion! I haven’t had any beer in at least 71 days (the amount of time I have been on this journey… and probably at least a few weeks longer than that), and I would say it was worth it.

I didn’t stop there! When I finished my salad, I also had a breadstick… and 3 glasses of water with lemon.

So, I wasn’t bad. I went in prepared and ended up adding 2 extras, which I counted. Just thought you ought to know!

However, just as I predicted, I was hungry about an hour and a half later while we were in the movie theater. Fortunately, I had brought a granola bar that did the trick just fine.  Continue reading

Implementing Activity

Let’s be honest: I am still struggling with implementing activity into my daily life. While I have met my daily FitBit Flex step goals most days, I am still not so good about getting in actual workouts. So far this week, I worked out on Monday… that was it (and I was good and sore for 2 or 3 days!), unless you count an especially energetic bout of … umm, intimate times with the husband the other day.

I keep thinking about this. What can I do that I enjoy? I do honestly enjoy the Power 90 Sculpt circuit, and I used to LOVE yoga. These days, though, yoga is more uncomfortable than it is enjoyable, and I constantly find myself comparing my movements to how I USED to be able to do them. I know that I can’t expect to be super awesomely bendy right from the get-go, but it’s frustrating, and I don’t enjoy it right now. On Tuesday, I made it through an entire 5 minutes of the Power 90 yoga component before I just turned it off and sat on the couch.

For this reason, I keep trying to find other workouts that I will enjoy in the meantime. I know I keep talking about my knees, but my right foot has also been bothering me since mid-August when I did yoga one day, and since then, it has been bothering me in the same place that I had broken it nearly 4 years ago. I don’t know why it hurts since it’s never bothered me since it healed, and I feel like I should go to the doctor, but part of me has been putting that off because I want to have lost 50 lbs before I go back to the doctor. I know it’s silly, but I’m craving praise!

I know, I need to just pick something and do it. No excuses. I will feel better in the long run, and the more I strengthen muscles around problem areas like my knees, the more I will be able to do. I would like to go back to physical therapy, but I don’t think that my HSA can handle it, plus my physical therapist will totally yell at me for messing up my knees after she fixed them last year.

Does anyone out there have knee issues? What workouts have you found that were doable, yet also worked to strengthen your knees? I need help!

 

But You Have Such a Pretty Face

I can’t believe it, but the following expression popped out of my mouth today at work: “You look really cute today!”

Meant as a compliment, this phrase is just all wrong. It implies that while you look cute today, you don’t necessarily look even okay-ish on other days. I immediately apologized, but it reminded me of how many times I have heard (and LOATHED) the backhanded compliment, “But you have such a pretty face!”

I’ll own up to it; my face is pretty pretty, but if there is one thing that I find more offensive than that sentence, I’m not sure what it is (and if I did figure it out, I doubt it would be blog-appropriate).

A veritable litany of alternate meanings are hiding under these 7 words:

  • But you have such a pretty face (not to mention your huge ass!)
  • (Your body is so ugly,) But you have such a pretty face!
  • But you have such a pretty face (even though the rest of you makes me want to puke!)
  • (I’m staring at you hoping that never happens to me,) But (at least) you have such a pretty face!
  • (I can’t believe it,) But (in spite of all your fat) you have such a pretty face!

I could go on.

I don’t often get up on my soapbox, but I’m tired of being the fat girl with the pretty face. I know I can’t change the way society views me (and other beautiful ladies like me), but I can change my own perceptions. So often, it’s too easy to accept that the opinions of others really define us. I am done with living in shame and going out of my way so as not to offend the delicate sensibilities of those who might see my big, fat body.

I am beautiful and intelligent, not in spite of my fatness, but right along with it. This is my body. I am working to make that body more healthy and have a better quality of life, but think about this for a second: my body (and your body!) is amazing.

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I couldn’t resist a cheesy selfie.

In spite of the horrible treatment I have put this body through, it still works to carry me around.

In spite of the binge drinking and the binge eating of fast food and pizza and chips, my body is not diabetic. It has a near-perfect blood pressure in the 118/75 range, and it is surprisingly bendy.

This body is dexterous. Did you know that I have a B.A. in Music?

This body hardly has any body hair, though it does have a propensity for sweating.

It is far past the time where I give something back to my body for all it has done for me. I am giving my body the gift of whole, fresh, and healthful foods, and I am working to make it stronger. I won’t always have a pretty face (I can dream, can’t I?), but if I don’t start giving back to my body, it is eventually going to give up on me.

What awesome things has your body has done for you??

Lunges

I’ve had bad knees since I had a bad drunken dancing accident  when I was 21.

I figure there are worse ways to have gone down than on a beer-covered dance floor that lights up, but it has been an on-again, off-again struggle ever since. I went to physical therapy for 6 weeks last summer (and I LOVED it!) after my doctor told me that I had arthritis and an effusion on the right knee. It had me pretty well sorted out, but of course I wasn’t as diligent with those exercises in the months following my therapy.

Continue reading

Quickie

In spite of my once-a-week-weigh-ins-only rule, I just hopped on the scale. If I really power through this weekend, there’s a good chance I will hit 30 lbs lost by Monday, meaning 30 lbs lost in month 1. Pretty exciting stuff that I just had to share with someone.

Anyway, I need to get moving! I have cleaning and shopping to do. Have a great (long) holiday weekend!