New Beginning

So, the last time we talked, I announced that I was pregnant. I’ve read one too many weight loss blog that turned into a pregnancy blog that immediately lost me as a reader to know that I didn’t want to go that route with my blog.

That being said, I’m a mom!

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With my second re-birthday on the horizon, I’m feeling a little sentimental, so let’s catch up! The day I found out I was pregnant, I weighed 219.0 pounds. The day I delivered, I tipped the scales at about 282 (I think). I gave birth to a beautiful little 7 pound 2 ounce baby in mid-May and officially weighed 240.0 pounds as soon as the fluid melted away (within about two weeks). Since then, however, I have battled the following things:

  • Breastfeeding hunger
  • My baby’s milk protein allergy (meaning I went dairy free)
  • A lingering sweet tooth from quitting smoking
  • The inability to bring myself to routinely prepare healthful and appealing meals while caring for a needy newborn

As a result, I somehow weighed 257 lbs at my doctor’s appointment on Monday of this week.

In spite of all of this, I need to pause to remind myself that I used to weigh 353.4 pounds and even though I’ve gained weight, I’m still nowhere near 353.4 pounds. So, how do I get back on track? Honestly, I’ve become complacent and fallen into the not tracking and not caring trap once again, though for most of my pregnancy, I did track my food. Lately, I’ve been so consumed by the baby that the “nice” thing I do for myself is eat horrible food that tastes amazing but is leaving this totally saggy gut in its wake.

Since having the baby, I initially started by making one goal each day to get back into the swing of things. My house is now back in order, the baby has a routine, so now I need to take those few poorly executed attempts at meal planning that just haven’t panned out and actually get back in the saddle.

How did I do this before? How did I lose 133 pounds in one year? I started with simple guidelines. I reread my first month’s recap where I discussed the keys to my success that first month. I’ve had so many false starts with tracking my food over the past few months, and now with the baby, the last thing I want to do is to have to remember one more thing like tracking every little thing I eat. The answer? My very own advice:

  1. Simply filling.
  2. No soda or booze for the first month.
  3. If I’m hungry, I’m going to eat.
  4. No obsessing.

The other way I set myself up for success? I religiously wrote in this blog and posted my weekly weigh-ins, milestones, measurements, everything.

I’m going to take tonight and tomorrow to prep my grocery list and pantry for the week ahead. Friday will be my first official postpartum weigh-in!

How are the rest of you doing?

Weight Loss Side Effects

A lot of good things happen when you lose weight the right way. Your body is clean, it works the way it’s supposed to, and you can do things you never imagined you’d be able to.

On the morning of August 21, I stepped on the scale and saw my lowest adult weight–219.0. But another thing that happens pretty frequently when you lose weight is, well… you get pregnant.

Yes, you read that right. I’m pregnant! It seems that I celebrated my first re-birthday a little too vigorously, and on the evening of August 21, I tested. Sure enough, we’re expecting a baby on April 30, 2016.

The past few months have been a bag of mixed emotions. I couldn’t even speak when I read the test result. And the second reaction was abject terror. Yes, it was unexpected, but honestly? My husband and I both thought that we COULDN’T get pregnant. We haven’t used any form of birth control in four years. We always said we were in the, “If it happens, great. If not, we’re fine,” camp, so we’d never had any testing done or anything. But wow. I didn’t realize how much I really wanted it until it happened.

With all that said, it’s been hard, food-wise. My doctor doesn’t want me to gain more than 15 pounds because I’m still morbidly obese, and she encouraged me to switch Weight Watchers to maintenance in order to help with the transition. The thing is, I haven’t just had morning sickness, but all-day sickness and exhaustion. There were about 3 weeks where I was sick unless I was eating. It’s also hard to eat healthfully when you just don’t give a damn and don’t have it in you to do anything but plant yourself on the couch after working all day. I’ve tried to hold it together, but it’s not always gone as planned. Last Monday’s weigh-in was at 224.8, which isn’t bad, but this morning the scale read 236.8! I know that’s not all “real” weight, but wow. How much did I possibly eat to gain 12 pounds in a week?! And for those of you keeping track… that means I’ve already gained 16.8 pounds.

I’m sure many people will say, “You shouldn’t be ‘dieting’ while you’re pregnant.” The thing I’ve learned about myself is that I NEED to track my food, or I go on a free-for-all. After my doctor’s appointment last Thursday, we went to Buffalo Wild Wings, where I had a small order of boneless wings, which set the wheels in motion for a week totally off the rails. It’s harder to say no to things now. I don’t know if I can blame that on the baby, or if it’s all on my shoulders.

For now, I’ll just keep on trucking. I need to pull it together not just for me, but for the health of a certain little someone who is depending on me. I’ve got to keep reminding myself that trans fats are just as bad for the baby (probably worse!) as lunch meat, dippy eggs, cold food, and cigarettes. I’ve given up all of those… which is probably why the only vice I have left is the trans fats.

I really miss dippy eggs.

But… I’m having a baby!

Milestones: One Year On

August 1, 2015 marked one year since I started on my journey to better health. I realize that I haven’t blogged in a few months, but during that time, I did NOT fall off the wagon; I’ve simply been busy with a new job and a kitchen reno. If you’ve been following me on Instagram, you know that I’ve still been around (and that I’m still terrible at social media).

The last time I posted, I weighed in at 236.4. On July 31 (my week 52 weigh-in), the scale said 220.4. It’s been a little more up and down in the past few months than in the past, but I’ve been dealing with a lot of stress, and well, I lost 133.0 pounds in ONE YEAR.

When I started on this journey, my only concrete goal was to get under 300 pounds… and I didn’t really have a timeline for it. For those just tuning in, when I stepped on the scale last August, it read, “353.4.” Even getting under the 300-mark seemed insurmountable. These days, I feel like a whole new person. I realize that sounds like a cliche, but it’s true. I feel incredible.

I can ride a bike again (I got a new one this summer!). I can literally jog up my stairs whereas last summer, my entire body ached so much that it felt like my knees were being ripped out of my body every time I had to walk up or down the steps. I have been able to help with our kitchen remodel far more than I would have been able to in the past, spending hours at a time climbing up and down my little red stool to patch, sand, paint, and more! I’m uncovering “new” bones every day. I’m happier and have more energy, and my marriage is better than ever. We even realized that since he weighs about 160, and I’ve lost 133 pounds, that the two of us together are now about the size that I used to be. That’s really crazy!

Since starting my new job at the end of March, I moved to another building. As a result, I’ve started running into old coworkers who I hadn’t seen in a few years. Many were actually a little standoffish when I first saw them, and then more and more gradually started approaching me to ask about my weight loss. Here’s the thing: they weren’t standoffish because they didn’t like me; they were standoffish because they didn’t recognize me. I think I’ve inspired 3 people in the last month alone to give Weight Watchers a try.

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows. I still struggle. In fact, recently, I think I’ve been struggling more than in the entire year leading up to this. There have been actual binges in the past few weeks. I tracked them, and I know I’ll never be totally binge-free (it’s not realistic), but it’s still scary, scary behavior. I don’t want to go back to where I was. Even though binging inherently makes you feel bad about yourself, I’ve been making it a point not to be hard on myself. I know that will only lead to more binging. I know the reason behind the binges (I’m super stressed at work, my house is in disarray thanks to remodeling, and I feel out-of-control/empty). All I can do is find other ways to cope. AND I have the lovely Rachael to talk me off the ledge/bring me back to reality.

Enough with the reflection! I know what you want to see: the photographic evidence! Because hey, I look amazing 🙂

Before:

During:

Current:

Comparison shots:

Front Compare 8-2015

Side Compare 8-2015

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How have you been doing?

Weeks 42 and 43 Weigh-Ins

So, last week I gained a pound. Not a big deal, especially considering I’d lost a staggering 6.8 pounds in week 41!

  • Starting Weight: 353.4 lbs
  • Week 41: 238.4 lbs
  • Week 42: 239.4 lbs
  • Week 43: 236.4 lbs
  • Change since last post: -2.0 lbs
  • Change overall: -117.0 lbs

This week, I lost 3 pounds!

To be honest, I “deserved” a gain. I had a booze and pizza bender on Friday last week, using up ALL of my weeklies in the process, which is something I’ve never done. Subsequently. Saturday and Sunday were wrought with sugar and carb cravings, thanks to the booze. I was certain that I was falling off the wagon because I was back in the 230s and it was some sort of psychological response that I was incapable of controlling.

My good buddy Rachael talked me off the ledge and asked me to pinpoint when these out-of-control feelings began. When I really, rationally thought about it, I realized it was the booze! The same thing happened to me when I got drunk at Christmas! But I handled it much better at Christmas.

I couldn’t bear looking at my negative weekly balance. I knew I was in the red, so I actually removed the offending choices from my tracker and made sure to switch to Simply Filling for the rest of the week. I battled those binge cravings clear through Wednesday. It was terrible, but Simply Filling really was a saving grace. Things now feel back to “normal,” and it was a good reminder not to indulge in excess booze, no matter how much fun it seems at the time, or even if you planned for it ahead of time and left yourself with 18 dailies, thinking that would be enough.

My new job has been very stressful. I’m constantly learning new things and being faced with new challenges. I am having a very hard time getting my mind to just STOP. It’s constantly whirring at about a million miles an hour. I was EXHAUSTED last night after work and had every intention of going to bed early. I laid down at 8 pm, and just couldn’t fall asleep because my brain wouldn’t slow down. I was awake until midnight!

In spite of the stress, I believe I’ve been continuing to make good daily choices (with the exception of the aforementioned booze/pizza bender). I refuse to let this stress make me turn to food. I have been dying to work out to mitigate the stress, but with my foot issues, I haven’t been able to indulge in physical activity! I’m terrified of ending up with one over-compensating injury after another like I did last summer, so I’ve been taking it very easy.

I just almost signed off on this blog post by typing what I type at the bottom of every email I send at work. I’ve been working too much!

How have things been going for you guys?

Week 10 Weigh-In

If I’m not careful, I’m going to get a reputation for missing my weigh-in day posts!

  • Starting Weight: 353.4 lbs
  • Last Week: 309.6 lbs
  • Current Week: 306.0 lbs
  • This week’s change: -3.6 lbs
  • Change overall: -47.4 lbs

As I posted on Instagram yesterday: proof positive that 8 oz of beer is okay sometimes!

I don’t have much to say today. I had a pretty rough day at work, and I worked an hour and a half longer than I wanted to. I’m exhausted, and I’m going to veg out on The Walking Dead with the husband.

Tomorrow, I will be chipper again, so tell me how your week went!