A lot of good things happen when you lose weight the right way. Your body is clean, it works the way it’s supposed to, and you can do things you never imagined you’d be able to.
On the morning of August 21, I stepped on the scale and saw my lowest adult weight–219.0. But another thing that happens pretty frequently when you lose weight is, well… you get pregnant.
Yes, you read that right. I’m pregnant! It seems that I celebrated my first re-birthday a little too vigorously, and on the evening of August 21, I tested. Sure enough, we’re expecting a baby on April 30, 2016.
The past few months have been a bag of mixed emotions. I couldn’t even speak when I read the test result. And the second reaction was abject terror. Yes, it was unexpected, but honestly? My husband and I both thought that we COULDN’T get pregnant. We haven’t used any form of birth control in four years. We always said we were in the, “If it happens, great. If not, we’re fine,” camp, so we’d never had any testing done or anything. But wow. I didn’t realize how much I really wanted it until it happened.
With all that said, it’s been hard, food-wise. My doctor doesn’t want me to gain more than 15 pounds because I’m still morbidly obese, and she encouraged me to switch Weight Watchers to maintenance in order to help with the transition. The thing is, I haven’t just had morning sickness, but all-day sickness and exhaustion. There were about 3 weeks where I was sick unless I was eating. It’s also hard to eat healthfully when you just don’t give a damn and don’t have it in you to do anything but plant yourself on the couch after working all day. I’ve tried to hold it together, but it’s not always gone as planned. Last Monday’s weigh-in was at 224.8, which isn’t bad, but this morning the scale read 236.8! I know that’s not all “real” weight, but wow. How much did I possibly eat to gain 12 pounds in a week?! And for those of you keeping track… that means I’ve already gained 16.8 pounds.
I’m sure many people will say, “You shouldn’t be ‘dieting’ while you’re pregnant.” The thing I’ve learned about myself is that I NEED to track my food, or I go on a free-for-all. After my doctor’s appointment last Thursday, we went to Buffalo Wild Wings, where I had a small order of boneless wings, which set the wheels in motion for a week totally off the rails. It’s harder to say no to things now. I don’t know if I can blame that on the baby, or if it’s all on my shoulders.
For now, I’ll just keep on trucking. I need to pull it together not just for me, but for the health of a certain little someone who is depending on me. I’ve got to keep reminding myself that trans fats are just as bad for the baby (probably worse!) as lunch meat, dippy eggs, cold food, and cigarettes. I’ve given up all of those… which is probably why the only vice I have left is the trans fats.
I really miss dippy eggs.
But… I’m having a baby!