Today, I had a really trying day at work and was blindsided by some pretty disappointing news. My normal reaction to sadness or anxiety or disappointment is to EAT. I’m capitalizing it because I don’t just eat, I EAT. I would buy a family-sized bag of potato chips (preferably Middleswarth Kettle Cooked Sour Cream & Onion… maybe Utz… Who am I trying to kid? I’m not picky), probably a pint of Hershey’s ice cream, and maybe even a fifth of Kraken rum. I would sit on the couch and HOUSE all of it. OK, so I wouldn’t drink all of the rum since I get pretty pukey after about 3 mixed drinks, but that’s not the point. (Lightweight.)
On my 45-mile drive home from work, visions of cheeseburgers and subs and pizzas boogied through my imagination like 20-foot-high dancing snacks at a drive-in movie theater. I craved comfort so badly that I felt a physical longing nearing panic for something (anything!) grease-laden and high in trans fats.
Not this time. No, no, no!
I compromised with myself. When I stopped to buy cat food, I picked up a Diet Pepsi. I figure, sure, it’s bad for me, but at least it’s calorie-free. When I got home, I talked out my day with D, made mini pizzas with turkey pepperoni on English muffins (plus gigantic side salads), and totally enjoyed that Diet Pepsi.
I have worked too hard over the past few weeks to let someone else’s decisions or opinions of me lead me to self-sabotage. I’m not hurting them by turning to food; I’m only hurting myself all over again. I kept repeating this.
While the crisis was averted today, and I’m proud of myself for the way I handled it, I would be lying if I said this behavior wasn’t concerning.
My questions for you:
A) I know that circumstances can’t always be rosy and stable, and I can’t let my emotions dictate my actions. How do I prepare for life’s next disappointment, whatever it may be?
B) I am a renowned self-sabotager – how do I crack the cycle?